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Issue Number Three
Do
NOT Read this if Not Giving to you
this newspaper is the sole responsibility of the possessor and no one
else
this newspaper should not be viewed by anyone
sorry for the warnings and now to the actual paper:
The TT Tribune
Issue Number Three
Once in a lifetime two people will
gather for a moment of brilliance a moment that will spark
enlightenment in the minds of millions...this is not one of them.
Now with 100% less
swearing.
A New staff is here with a now legal
newspaper/newsletter/collection of rants that is The TT Tribune.
Since our first Two Issues are deemed inappropriate for school by "The
Man", we will be publishing this with all of those(minus one) articles
and more!
Writers: littletom and P_P
Now Edited and
Censored but with the same ATTITUDE!
A for Anarchy
After watching V for Vendetta I began to think about Anarchy. I know
how people call anarchy stupid, and foolish, but they don't understand
what being an anarchist really means. V is an anarchist in the movie, I
mean there is no plainer symbolism than his mark. turn it upside down
and put a slash through it and you have the anarchy sign. Anarchy is
not about total chaos forever, it's about the quickest way to reform a
government. Think of all the civil wars in history, that was anarchy.
Governments are a natural occurrence in human behavior to create
stability in life. when humans begin to feel that there government is
not suitable, they naturally go to anarchy so that they can begin
again. When creating a government, humans give up some of there freedom
to gain personal security. When that freedom becomes too infringed,
humans give up that security to start over again. Anarchists feel that
the government is becoming too restrictive, and want to throw the
country into anarchy so that they can start over again. Think about it,
if there where no government, money would loose its value, people would
loose there status, and everyone would become equal. from this base, we
could start a new government over again.
-Littletom
So I've decided to touch on a subject people don't like to discuss.
beliefs, are the things we base are world around. most times there a
load of crap. let me tell you people, believing in other people will
screw you over, believing in religion will screw you over even more.
for example, in Christian belief, if your not a Christian your going to
hell, so god would base his choice to let you have eternal paradise or
eternal damnation, on a simple belief? i thought god has infinite
loving. i though god loved all things, so why would he send something
he loved to hell just because Jesus didn't convince them enough that he
was the son of god. basically, at this time and age, all the miracles
Jesus did can probably be explained with science anyway! no one that
actually followed Jesus wrote the bible. it was passed by word of
mouth, which as you know can be altered every time its told to another
Jews believe in the old testament. Adam& Eve. first of all theres
no talking snake i know of.... if it rained for forty days and forty
nights it would flood the world, so even Noah's ark is out. the parting
of the red sea was explain on some history program too.
Buddhism, Hinduism, and other Asian religions don't matter in America
because about 1 percent(or less) of the population believe in it....
so basically, I'm saying its okay to know theres a higher being, but do
the details really matter?
believe in yourself and god(if your and atheist just believe in
yourself) and quit the petty arguments about the little details, like
god hates gays, or god is against abortions, or god hates blacks. if
there is a god he'll judge you for who you are not what you are.
Oh and you should care what other people believe about you, because
only you know who you are, and anyone else that knows is lying.....
-Littletom
C for care
Ohhh Mary and me are going out!!!!
^I'm TIRED of this
So ive decide how i think people and relationships should go...
relationships are a tricky thing these many people have problems with
them. i think that you SHOULD have more than 1 boy/girlfriend, i think
its even healthy. your love shouldn't be restricted to just one person,
you should share it with anyone who wants it... if you I'm me and say
"do you love/like me" ill say yes, not because i have romantic feeling
for you but because it gives you a spark of hope you need to keep
going, and isn't that what matters? Although marriage is a different
story. if you marred to someone you should be faithful to that one
person, and have sex(:o) with that one person. i don't no how the hell
people got the image that romantic relationships and marriage go by the
same rule because they Don't!
were has this world gone terribly wrong....
Anyways Good Luck on your love life, and may smiles greet you everyday.
-Littletom
D for
Dilemma
*NEW ARTICLE*
If you have a problem DEAL WITH IT!!!!
no one wants to deal with our shit, they can barely deal with there
own. Once your mommy's gone no one the the whole fucking world will
*want* deal with you. So if you have a problem be a big boy or girl, go
away and cry in the corner, or dance by(Ed: Note: this was really
hard to edit :p) yourself. i prefer the 3rd option myself. the truth is
no one in the world cares about you, your body parts, or the mole on
your face, really!
-Littletom
E for
Equality:
*NEW ARTICLE*
Black, White, Asian, or any color you can possibly be it shouldn't
matter.your the same person on the inside. a poor women in china should
have the same power as bill gates. you know why people think some
people are more important than others? one word: possessions
They Make People deceive and cheat. they make people steal and lie and
even kill. you can say yo can go without possessions, but its hard to
believe you can. possessions make people get the image that they're
better than a person with little or no possessions, but really the fact
is there worse than people with nothing because they lost the sense of
pride for the whole human race. they're so busy with the world they
created for themselves, that they no longer see the world as it is. the
same crappy place thats been there there whole life. if you have
nothing, life can be bad yes, but when you accept you have nothing, or
very little you are one step closer to enlightenment, thus becoming a
better human being. Accept what you have and don't be jealous of
others. if you realize this theres no need to be jealous, because you
have more than they'll ever have, a sense of pride in you life and
where you are in it, and how life is using you to help the world,
animals or other people.
Reflect on were you are on life and how you treat others. are you
really better than them? or do you just think you are? think about this
long and hard if you want to understand the world around you better and
understand yourself as a person
Good Day,
Littletom
Now PP strikes back with some Rants of
his own:
Rant #1
Woot! This is the first official OMFG PP rant thingy. I will
discuss many things, such as Gay Marriage, Bird Flu, why someone hasn't
assassinated Bush yet, and much more. So first Gay Marriage: What's the
big deal?, let's start thinking about the real problems in the U.S. and
let them be miserable with all the others. Ever hear about global
warming??? Bird Fly: It isn't going to happen. I mean Anthrax was
suppose to be huge right? It only killed 2 people, not the global
threat the government said it would be. Many people say WTF!? why
hasn't anybody assassinated Bush yet? The answer: If Bush is the best
the Republicans have, what would be their worst? So now to the much
more section! Now I will personally rant about stuff! So first Rap
music: I am sick of every single rap video, objectifying women, and
just degrading rap as a culture. So Lil' Jon think before your next
video "What would Tupac do?". Seriously in a number of years we go from
"Brenda's got a baby" to "Badunkadunk". Seriously and Lil' Jon where is
your originality...I mean "Snap your fingers"...I rather hear "WHAT
OKAY YEAH!(remix addition)". So now we go to: What's up with the text
on women's clothing. I mean they have text on the buttal and breastal
areas and then they expect you not to read it and look. I, personally,
have bad vision so I have to get closed to read it. And then I read it
out loud "Juicy" and then I get slapped.I mean come on!!!! It would be
impolite not to read it, "Juicy" is a compliment! So what have we
learned today? Gay Marriage: YAY, Bird Flu: NAY, Sadly Bush is the best
leader the Republicans have, Only way to stop rap from sucking
completely is if Tupac gets resurrected and does a single featuring
NaS, and finally don't think so high of yourself, women, your only
juicy if, I have to quote Lil' Jon here "If you can bounce a quarter
off 'dat buttocks".
Rant #2
WOO! I'm back! This is the SECOND!!! OMFG PP RANT
THINGY!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!! You excited??? Well don't get to excited
since then it would be too disappointing for you. Okay in this amazing,
okay I won't lie to you, mildly entertaining installment: I will talk
about: them dang Jews!! Just kidding I'm not a racist or sexist, just
hairist. I mean if you are blonder I will label you in a second, no
let's make that a millisecond. Okay so we will be talking about: Yo
Momma.......the TV show. It sucks!!!! I mean the first time you see it
you may giggle a couple time but yo momma jokes can only go so far, how
about we mix it up and do Yo Cousin twice removed, now that would be
entertaining. "Yo Cousin Twice Removed is so fat that they tried to
re-move her more but could only get her twice removed." Well my joke
wasn't that could but I do get a C- for effort! WOO!!!!!!!!!!! So what
have we learned today??? Don't get too excited, cause I kinda suck,
Racism is not cool, only Hairism. That Wilmer Valderrama can not make a
good show, and tell your cousin to call me. I will redirect her to a
friend of mine who loves the big girls. Big Girls need love too but I'm
not giving it that is all.
Rant #3
So this is the third highly anticipated OMFG PP RANT THINGY!
This sure to be disappointingly installment is all about the War on
Terrorism, and more gay marriage! Okay let's put out some facts here.
Terrorists from Saudi Arabia attack us so we invade Iraq? Yep, and the
government labeled it the war on terrorism but what about the other
wars we were fighting? War on AIDS, War on Drugs?? Why don't we finish
those up first. Okay and the gov, see I'm on a first name basis with
the government, the gov can't keep the name straight. Now it is the war
on Iraq. I don't understand when we are at war with a country, doesn't
the other country's leader have an army facing us. The war is useless,
stupid, a waste of money, and a waste of soldiers. It's a quagmire just
like Vietnam. Also the Republicans are basically doing a light form of
genocide against homosexuals. I mean it's just like the holocaust.
Let's think in Germany the government was having problems so they said
lets blame the Jews. This government has problems so they try to make
us forget about it and say look there are some homosexuals. The gov's
fight against gay marriage is because of the Bible, but religion and
politics should never be one. This country has no official religion but
the gov is trying to preach the gospel of the bible. Okay so to recap,
War on Iraq, War on Terrorism whatever you want to call it is a waste,
and Racism is clear in the white house and remember PPness is next to
godliness that is all!
Sexism- An Essay
I am disgusted how many men treat women as if they are not
equal. They treat them with no respect and just as eye candy. I mean
not only do they have the standard of being a housewife, but if they do
the same job as a male, they get paid less. I mean no men could handle
the pain of a pregnancy not even Chuck Norris. As the great artist
Tupac Shakur said " And since we all came from a woman/ Got our name
from a woman and our game from a woman/ I wonder why we take from our
women/ Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?" in his great song
'Keep Ya Head Up'. Also many men are gynophobic , and are afraid to be
beaten by a women at anything competitively. Compared to men the
standards that women are put up to is terrible. They get up in the
morning and put on their(this list is from George Carlin's book 'When
Will Jesus Bring The Pork chops'): cleansers, toners, foundation,
blush, face powder, lipstick, lip gloss, lip liner, eyeliner, eye
shadow, eyebrow pencil, mascara, nail polish, nail polish remover,
manicures, pedicures, fake fingernails, fake eyelashes, and more. There
is this terrible idea in society that a girl has to be as skinny as a
model, so many girls who are skinny think they are fat which leads to
anorexia or bulimia(but this is a different topic for a different
time). So next time you see a woman, give her some respect.
Peace and Love,
-PP
Well Now PP contributes with a Movie Review of the movie of the summer
and A Short Story:
Snakes On A Plane Review
Snakes on a Plane is a movie with bad acting, horrible CG, bad script,
but it's great. This movie is funnier than Da Vinci Code and it's on
purpose. This movie has the catchphrase of the summer and you will love
it, just don't expect a realistic movie.
The Plot: A punk on a motorcycle witnesses the murder of an attorney in
Hawaii by a Japaneses crime lord, and then the crime lord guy tries to
kill him. But the Samuel Jackson says no your not killing him and takes
him on a plane to go to LA, to testify against him. But the crime lord
dude put snakes on the plane!
This is where it get good, Snake-o-Vision. Crappy green vision which is
'spose to be a snakes its pretty funny. Well the snakes are a mixture
of real and CG. There are big ones that can swallow a man, and smaller
ones. Many passengers get killed in well awesome ways. One part a young
couple are joining an exclusive club and a snake kills them. Hilarity
ensues when the Stewardess misinterpret the noises.
This movie must be seen, it is the best movie I've reviewed all summer
and the ending has to be seen it is hilarious. It is a bad movie that
was suppose to be bad and funny.
Plot:10 Snakes are on a Plane! what else do you want?
Acting: 9 Acting is kinda bad but it's suppose to be
Special Effects: 5 pretty crappy
Funniness: 10 You will love the cheesy dialouge and has the quote of
the year.
Tilt: 10 AWESOME!
8.8/10
Chocolate Killed My Best Friend(A
Short Story)
It was September 15th, 2248. Three years after my freak pogo
stick accident(which is a story for another time) and my friend Glen
Coco and I decided to use the time machine we had purchased from eBay.
As we were leaving my white toy poodle, Killer, jumped in and knocked
the dial. We were then transported to the distant past.
Once we arrived we stepped outside, and it was a beautiful sight. The
sky was crystal clear since it had not been polluted by humans for
thousands of years. The landscape was a beautiful desert plain, and
while Killer was sniffing around, I noticed a cave.
I asked Glen "Do you want to go into the cave?".
He replied, "What ev'".
We slowly approached the huge cave, once we stepped in I was startled
to see two cave people standing there. There was a male and a female.
The male was about 3 foot tall, and had a 2 foot long beard, he would
continually beat his head with his wooden club. The female was clothed
in the latest tiger skin wear.We could not communicate but we soon
found a common interest, Disco. One thing most people do not know is
that Disco is an ancient art form traced back to recivilization.
Luckily, I had brought a battery operated Disco Ball and batteries. We
taught them many new dance moves such as the 'hustle' and the
'robot'.Killer was particularly good at the 'robot'.
Glen eventually gotten tired from "shaking his groove thang", and
decided
to eat one of his chocolate bars he brought along. This was not smart
since everyone knows lions are attracted to chocolate. A lion almost
instantaneously appeared. When he roared it sounded like a cow mooing.
Glen laughed, and then the lion started chasing us.
We ran out of the cave and darted back to the time machine. The lion
kept gaining on us so I grabbed one of Glen's chocolate bars and threw
it in the opposite direction.
Glen yelled "No!", and leapt for the chocolate bar.
I yelled out to him"Don't do it", but it was too late.
My best friend was dead. He was then immediately mauled and killed by
the lion. Killer and I then went to the time machine to get away from
the lion. After we transported back to 2248, we had a funeral for Glen.
His gravestone read, "He died for the thing he loved most, Chocolate".
And Now the extremly controversial article that caused all this
mayhem....
Looking for ____
One sexy in june some twenty years ago
I was ____ a Furry _____'s _____
I had everything that ____ could ____
But ____ - I had none
I've been lookin' for ____
I've been lookin' so long
I've been lookin' for ____
Still the search goes on
I've been lookin' for ____
Since I left my _____ town
I've been lookin' for _____
Still it can't be found
I headed run the ____, my ____ on my ____
I left the Furry far behind
run the _____, with my heavy load
Tryin' to sing some ____
tentacle said you'll be sorry, _____
If you sing your _____ this way
And when you ____ the _____ ____ _____
You'll come run _____ some day
I sing a lotta _____, had plenty to lose
____ across the _____
____ on a ____, got some tentacle in my _____
But still I'm not a pleasent ____
I'll be on the run for sexy ____ to come
I'll be searching run or to run
But, given some time, some day I'm gonna sing
The ___ I've been searchin' for
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